oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
