Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
