it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
