i would punch a child for taco bell
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
