You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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