i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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