carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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