someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it glows. i had to have it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You dont lie about slip and slides
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
