Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
