Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
