He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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