It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
