omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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