if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
