It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
