I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
