in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
