Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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