you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
