and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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