We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
