just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
