Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
