I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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