woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your penis caused this!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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