You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
