I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
