is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
