we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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