By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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