Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
