There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
