So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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