dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm at about main and main street
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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