There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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