If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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