Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
