check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
