I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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