so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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