then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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