he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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