i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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