...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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