It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
