The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize