i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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