Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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