My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
