I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
