Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
