I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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