he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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