O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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