So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
