My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
