you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize