I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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