I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i will never coherently bang her
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
