it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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