you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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