if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
false alarm, still single
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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