its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
