I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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