It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
