Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
