i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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