I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
