I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Randomize
