Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize