I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
