You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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