I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
