the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
