Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think my fart just growled at me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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